(83) day 123 ...finishing roadworks.

Day 123... helping to finish roadworks. Roadworks are a massive inconvenience to road users and pedestrians alike, no sooner has one hole dissapeared, than another shows up, and often in pretty much the same place. These sights are often left unatended for days on end... maybe an alarming addition to said roadworks would be the ideal way to speed them along.  This involved adding extra, and preferably confusing or misleading signage. I had a visitor for the day, and happily for me she agreed to take part.

 

I wondered what kind of signage to use, should i falsely indicate something was unsafe and should be avoided, leave inceorect instruction for the absent workmen or something entirely different?

In the end the signage we rocked with can be seen at the top of this blog, As you can see its a rather confusing take on a crime scene sign the police often use.

Once we created the signage, we set off on a crusade to hit up every unmaned roadworks in the local area. (Notice the photos clustered throughout this blog).

Misleading signage  placed on unmanned roadworks.

mission completed.

day 120 ... agreeing to meet in ten

Today's task was simple enough , when youve been away from something a while, best to start out light im sure youll agree. My assignment was thus ,agree with someone to meet up in 10 years at a place and time of your choosing, but exactly 10 years from today. Easily done, i sent a text out to someone i thought i'd wanna meet in a decade, and luckily for me, an agreement was immidiately met.

A lot can happen /change in a decade, and to hilight that, here's what was going on in 2001:-

*sven goran erikson was installed as england manager

*Liverpool beat arsenal in the f.a cup final (2 goals from a young michael owen).

*Osama bin laden masterminds the 9/11 attacks on the twin towers.

*foot and mouth caused karnage in the english countryside

  and bob the builder, atomic kitten and lou bega spent time at number one.

now my people it's time to let you in on the details:-

Myself and A.S.B have agreed to meet in ten years, on this date (the 8th of october) 2021 we will meet at arguments place in whitby, and just incase weve changed imeasurably, to make ourselves recognisable to eachother abi shall wear red shoes, and a purple flower in her hair. I was deciding wether to adorn myself in winkle pickers and a flasher mack ... or a tiger onesy, in the end of course i decided the latter may be funny for me , and who im meeting, but alarming for  fellow inhabitants of whitby.

It was sugested we might want to list on contract  some of the talking points of the moment should we fall short of topics a decade on. They are duely listed, and include amy winehouses demise, the massacre in norway, polar bear attcks, riots in totenham etc.

So the date is set, and  the contract is signed. and le task is finito!

day...119 reincarnation

Day 119... today choose what youd prefer to be reincarnated as!

And so today i was fitted with the exciting  yet daunting task of choosing from a large list full of images of beasts, objects and other such things  what i would most like to be reincarnated as.

The list included almost everything  including camels, parrots,guitars, rocking horses,giraffes, astronaughts,4x4's, crickets pears and squirrels  and about 300 more, i didnt have to pick something from the list, just something...anything but i was aware i shouldnt go into this without a sensible head on, although i dont believe in reincrnation if im wrong  its quite an important decision.

And so i made my choice.. which i will keep secret for the meantime was circled on the provided page, folded and pushed into an envelope  along with a note of introduction and my wishes for reincarnation and sen first class to the dalai lama. I guess if reincarnation is really how it works  he might hold some sway.. i donbt it  but its worth a punt right?

Day118... minus taste

day118... minus taste!

my task was simple enough" today go through life without using your sense of taste" The way i would cause this lack of sense of taste  was entirely my choice, i went the numbing whole mouth with sore throat numbing spray route.. it was a success.

I tasted almost nothing today... it was not pleasent, i like food, well good food at least  and sadly this was goulash day, a favourite of mine from my days in hungary, and i had been looking forward to it  for a couple of days ... i however managed to down an entire plate  without tasting  the slighest part of it, such a waste .

Although a seemingly harmless afliction  todays task made me feel for those who suffer it for real (and they do exist) How joyless eating some of my favourite food was fir just one day.. imagine a life in which youve never tasted anything.. and so no favourite food or drink, no pleasure in mastercation.. just eating through necesity, although i know there are worse things to have, that sounds like torture. However it probably has its advantages, there cant be an obesity problem among those with no sense of taste.

day 117... sabotaging focus groups

Day 117... Sabotaging focus groups

Focus groups are the engine room of the market economy, a place where products and services are presented to the buying public.. ad their opinions sought. And they in many ways are the only way in which the average joe on the street can effect the decisions big business takes.

Today my task was to mislead focus groups, give bad or purposely misleading advice.. while sounding  like a man who knows in stuff, in the hopes that big business would listen  and in some small way  i would have contributed to the future direction of some products.

As you may know i dont look at each task until the day it is to be completed.. and so although i tried there were no in person focus groups to take part in today...there were however online groups positively desperate for my optinons on all sorts of products and services.

I lent these online groups the weight of my considerable taste and knowledge, i made many comments.. hopefully some were heeded. here's  a sample:-

" line dancing  is  set for a big come back, ive seen the stirings all over"

"i think increasing the softness is always a good idea, but have you thought of a colour change across your range?, nobody wants white toilet paper these days its just not cool"

" risk takers like me  would love a car with no airbag, theres definately room in the world for a car for those who like to live on the edge"

day 116... 8 million ways to die!

Day 116.. 8 million ways to die!

Today benrik wanted  me to consider my own mortality, this isnt something i relished the prospect of... however after fully reading through the task i realised it wasnt going to be so bad. Iwas given a list of 100 ways to die , and asked to rank them 1-100 in order of preference.

I know everyone dies  and in the grand scheme of things  the method of transport shouldnt really matter a great deal.. but this is your own death nand so as hard as it is to think about  we all have a preference, even if its born only of knowing which ways we definately wouldnt wanna go.

Some of the 100 are gruesome others more mundane..but taken in context of yourself none seemed massively apealing.. im not typing out all hundred methods, but i shall leave a sample of my mreference list below.

98- ebola virus
93- anthrax in mail
67- swallowed wasp
53- eaten by dinosoars
46- bludgeoned with baseball bat
34- heroin overdose
27- lynched
22- suicide bombed
17- mafia
10- friendly fire
7-  cocaine overdose
1-  duel

day 115... lotus position

                                                                   this isnt me!
                                             DAY 115... sit in the lotus position all day

When i took on this book and decided to do a task a day it was with the intent of if possible following all tasks  to the letter  and atempting  to succeed and complete them, However although i gave todays a good shot, it was simply beyond me... as you can see i was to sit in the lotus position all day, my reasons  for failure in this task are as follows:-

1.I didnt have the day free so anymore than a couple if hours was simply not possible.

2.I after a 40 min atempt  could bare no more lotus positin  a mixture of aching and boredom restricted me from doing it any longer. The idea was to sit in the position and relax, ill have to say i dont find sitting in such an awkward position even slightly relaxing. however i did give it a blast.. 40 mins of not being able to move was torture. but i gave it a good go.. allbeit around 23 and  a bit hours shorter than what the task required. abaetween you and me  i think it was an unreasonable request.