day 106... praising unsung achievement

day 106... praising unsung achievement

Well you can see what todays task was above, i just had to consider where to look for such an achievment, i mean everyday.. ok maybe not everyday but i bet fairly often people go above whats required of them at work when serving you, you might notice it and thing "oh that made a pleasent change", but i bet you never gave a second thought to it, i know i never have, what if the acknowlegement of the extra effort given by said employee either to them personally or their superiors, and whatever resulted from your words  was a badly needed lift.

Rarely in england does anyone working a minimum wage job at say a supermarket give you anything other than a tut or a grunt or a forced semi smile as an atempt to hide contempt for your disturbance when when they are aproached with a query (for the benefit of foreign readers, as i know smiley and helpfull is a default setting for checkout girls in canada)

Having set the scene for you, i headed for tesco, badly in need of shopping, knowing that if anyplace was unlikely to provide good service of noteable standardsa supermarket would  surely be it. If i asked enough staff to help me find something, would any suprise me and show a want to help, a degree of freindliness? if they did  they would be rewarded with a letter to the boss.

I'll cut a long story short, i spoke to 3 assistants, for directions to certain items i was "having trouble finding" to which i recieved vague hand gestures and grunts before i asked a girl if she knew where i could find silverado stag chilli...  " i do yeah" she said  sounding happy id asked, then lead me the whole way across the supermarket,, chatting to me as she went...she even tried to pull the chilli down off the top shelf but wastoo short.. which she seemed embarased by.. but made me want to write to the boss all the more.. cuteness wins points like.. definately. I left with a name (from the badge) and a knowledge that some supermarket workers hadnt yet been sucked of all life.

heres the very brief letter:-
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear manager,
I always shop at your store, and am generally content with the service I receive, and the general shopping experience.
Today I came to do my weekly shop as ususal, and was having trouble finding a few items, and although all of the staff I spoke to during my shopping trip provided adequate instruction as to how what I was seeking could be acquired, One member of staff (Sara who works on the drinks section) was very helpful indeed, her desire to be of assistance, and friendly demeanor were a breath of fresh air.
I felt this deserved acknowledgement. I hope and expect she is a valued member of staff at your store.
Yours sincerely

Mike Shotton

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
So today i praised unsung achievement, ok it wasnt a massive achievement, but to be fair if you often shop in english supermarkets, youll know just how rare a thing someone seeming like they are genuinely happy to help is. I hope you enjoyed the words "shopping experience" in the letter i tried to put myself in the mindset of the kind of person who usually writes that kind of letter.... middle class biff i thought. hope the letter fits.

day 105... life minus smell

day 105... and todays task was thus, "today go through life without using your sense of smell" I was wondering how i would pull this off as i saw it aproaching in the book, the flippin sinus probs ive had for months,  i asumed would have cleared up well before now, but as it turns out, i am still unable to smell much at all, oh thankyou for your persistance sinusitous, however would i manage this task without you... but youd best bog off as soon as its done!

So ill functioning nose on face, i marched out to meet the world  with its many punjent odours, and do my best to acknowledge what i should be smelling  while actually  smelling  none of them. I wasnt sure wether this lack of smell would be a burden or a blessing living where i do, i mean cooling towers, chemical industry, lots of tracksuited biffs, would i really be missing out on anything pleasent? heres what i didnt smell today:-

I walked past a garage forecourt, and didnt smell the petrol ( a smell i usually love)
I didnt smell the overwhelming, yet beautifull aroma of garlic that cascades out of linthorpe roads kebab shops.
I didnt smell the sausage stand as i walked past it
I couldnt smell bthick black   fumes that a knackered old ford was spillingout on boro road as i walked past (and i could tell by others faces, the fumes smelt  and it wasnt a heavenly fragrance)
I walked past K.O and that aroma , that tells of pleasure and bowel concerns in one heady snort was strangely not present.
A heavennly looking girl strolled past  and i bet she smelled as good as she looked, but i couldnt tell you, she may aswell have lifted like the toilets in middlesbrough bus station .
On the upside people i  didnt smell:-
The fish section in morrisons  (which i usually have to sprint past)
The smell of the tees as we drove over it wndows down
A beggar/ tramp who may not have smelled, but certainly looked like he should


SO i went without the sense of smell all day (for flippin weeks actually) and i can tell you i equally missed ut and was blessed, i definately wouldnt want to be without it as a permanent set up. It has made me consider smells im gratefull to experience tho, and consider taking a peg with me to morrisons when my sense of smell returns.

day 104... letting power corrupt me!

day 104... So today the book wanted me to let power corrupt me!
Well power coruption day turned out to be our second day in barcelona, and the previous night as i headed, exausted, and slightly smitten with sunstroke to bed in the hotel, my roommate noticed that my bed WAS COVERED IN ANTS!!. Im an easy going kinda guy, so for the night i just slept elsewhere thinking i'll deal with this in the morning, when its my duty to make a big deal of it... and that i did.

Having allready briefed the night security dude of the problem during the early hours, i haeaded down to reception to see what could be done about my ant concerns... the brummy receptionist had allready been insulted by a member of our party upon check in  and so... was a little spiky to begin with... i decided to go easy-ish.. i explained my concern and asked if we could have a room change (despite the fact the cleaner had dealt with the ant problem allready, and the fact we were only paying 3 pound  a night ), she didnt take it well and to be honest, was rude before id given her reason to be, she wasnt budging on the room change.. so i underlined that the roo, needed cleaning top to bottom.

Around 15 mins later, as we were heading out  for a jaunt to the beach, and could see she was busy speaking spanish on the phone... i enquired if the cleaner was still in..as she hadnt been up yet, and my sheets needed changing asap!. She didnt like it.. "WHICH BED IS IT" she enquired angrily, i gave her a look to suggest she needed to lowe her tone  while adresing such an important customer, and out we went. We went in search of beer on the cheap from one of the asian stalls (not fo me) these asian openfronted stalls sell everything, beers, shades, flip flops, soveneirs... ropey knock off footie shirts, pornographic playing cards.. and in this case.. megaphones (actually i think the megaphone was there for him to invite people into his stall from the surrounding area) Anyway we were in there ruffly 20 minutes, and i spent the whole time trying things on unnecesarily from packets  and chucking em back... and shoulting things rather too loudly through the megaphonethat wasnt intended for my useage,, i did impresions of him! " many bargains my friends" etc! he loved it.. im sure.

I also thorougly enjoyed making our waiter take photos of us all at the table, in periods where i could see he really couldnt spare the time, aaand speaking in bad chinese accents in the chinese restraunt... we found it hiwaaaarwious .. not sure they did tho..larrrvly.

So today i let power   or percieved corrupt me, and pushed the people of lloret a little too far. Normally im not into that kind of thing, but iv'e given myself a full pardon after all the receptionist was rude before id given her reason to be, and the stall holder well..... i just dont feel bad about it... you can decide why.

day 103... today impress your librarian

                                                        day 103,... impresing my librarian.





The book spelt out exactly how this was to be done... here's how it went down.
At apromximately 12/ mid day i entered middlesbrough library, gave a nod to the staff, and walked the building  like a man on a mission, perusing the shelves for the beefiest, and most impresive looking book by way of size, and intelectual content. I reached a section containing dusty volumes of gargantuan proportions, it was the classics... nothing says im an intelectual heavyweight like the classics, i went for satre, though not in the french.. if i want her to think i blasted through that forest of paper in 27 mins, i have to draw the line somewhere, hardback in hand i Aproached the desk, she booked it out to me, i then sat slightly out of view of said elderly bespectacled wise owl, and turned pages reading bits and pieces for 27mins.. but mainly boshing texts, when the alloted tim  benrik stipulated had passed, i returned to the check out desk... and slammed the huge bulky volume down looking satisfied, and with any luck  slightly enlightened.

She looked at me, with a mix of bewilderment and excitement as i uttered the words "yeah great read that", and mooched out of the library ten feet tall, having gained a new reputation no doubt, savant or idiot savant i dont know, but certainly one of the 2.

I believe wholeheartedly that my librarian was impressed by my achievements in speed reading, i like to think that to a librarian, that was akin to watching husein bolt run the 100 in 7 seconds, a day she will never forget.
Maybe within the realms of that aged building  the day the day i strolled in and cained satre in 27 mins will go down in folklore in libraries throughout the land, " the day the legend of the chosen one was fulfilled" yeah... i can see that  defo!

tada!!

day 102... volunteering for a medical experiment.

          NO... just human's thats ok then eh you yoghurt knitting, home schooled, cardigan wearing biffs!

day 102... volunteering for a medical experiment. That's the task..I imagine most people at this stage would be thinking, "nah thats a step too far, i dont care what the book says, no way am i being experimented on!!"
However i am allredy signed upto a research centre, having considered going for a visit several times before, ,i considered it purely for  financial gain, however i am to view this sign up as an act of service, laying my body on the line for the betterment of strangers health, (although i will still recieve said money)

So the testing unit im signed upto sends me emails  every week aproximately, giving details of upcoming studies, the drug, what it's used for, possible side effects, and the cash one would recieve for participating in particular studies.

And today as instructed, i signed up for one, there is a selection process, signing up doesnt guarentee you will be accepted onto that study, as they all have specific requirements with participants  health history, smoker/non smoker, blood type etc..

However below are the details of the ordeal i signed up for :-

The main aim is to see what effect the body has on the study drug, ACT-280778 and to evaluate the safety and tolerability of the study drug in healthy male volunteers. ACT-280778 is a new investigational medicinal product being developed for the treatment of Cardiovascular Disease.
Heart and circulatory disease is the most common cause of death in the UK and includes coronary heart disease, angina, heart attack, and stroke. In treatment of cardiovascular disease, particularly hypertension and angina, a group of drugs called 'calcium channel blockers' is one method of treatment currently being used. These drugs affect the way calcium is used in the blood vessels and heart muscle. This has a relaxing effect on the blood vessels. ACT-280778 works in a similar way by blocking calcium channels.
What will happen?

This study is being conducted at our research facility at Mayday Hospital in London. If you are interested in taking part you will need to contact us to register your interest.

If you successfully pass the telephone screening you will be invited to our facility where you will undergo a screening examination. This is vital to ensure it is safe for you to take part in the trial.

So iv'e signed up, soon i may be bloging from altogether more worying surroundings... of course as the book instructed i am viewing this as an act of charity, not thinking about the £3,500 that comes with it... not at all.

sign up for dope up
done!

day 101... lying about your past!

                                                
                                                        day 101...lying about your past!

So today i had to lie to people about my past, As pointed out previously im not massively comfortable with lying, the only fibs im down with are lies that are so wildly exajurated that both liar and the lied to instantly  know what's being told is not the case, And white lies, that are swiftly followed by a retractment, one the lied to has been sucked in.

the book informs me Lies about ones past can be seperated into 4 categories, white lies, blatant lies, lies nobody wants to check, and lies nobody can check... with this in mind i set out to cover all 4 bases.

So today i told lies about my past, ranging from heritage, the religious leanings of my fammily and my REAL  name, i had to pick on people who havnt grown up with me so that i could be believed even for the meerest of moments, to those i atempted to suck in, my sincere apologies, even though your aware of the untruth allready.
Some of the fibs i told today can be found below:-

" yeah, i use michael now, but my name is abraham, my family are all jewish, i took on mike when i converted to mormonism to avoid awkward questions"

" my parents are well into family history like, theyve gone back really far on both sides, apparently im a distant relative of billy the kid"

" i didnt speak until i was about 2, and then my first word was demonstrative"

As you can see from this mere sampleit's likely no retraction was really needed on any of the lies a threw out there today, but i'll tell you what Iv'e never been happier that pinochio is just a fairytale.

lies dispensed
task ticked.

day 100... adding a special touch to a masterpiece!

day 100... adding a special touch to a masterpiece!
Pretty self explanitary, simply the book suggests  that art is never truly finished, and that i should take a piece of recognizable artwork, and set about it with my wildly artistic hands. I picked the mona lisa, Below you can see the origional artwork, and then my revamped masterpiece.

                                                                          BEFORE

AFTER

Who would have thought that a  change in hair colour, a little nailwork, a beard and a fag could have such an impact on an instantly recognisable work of art, Granted i have altered the vibe of the whole painting, taking her from a natural beauty, to the kind of bird who hangs out in heavy metal bars, however that beard definately thins her face out, if she could speak, she would be thanking me.

Alteration, improvement, finito!