(83) day 123 ...finishing roadworks.

Day 123... helping to finish roadworks. Roadworks are a massive inconvenience to road users and pedestrians alike, no sooner has one hole dissapeared, than another shows up, and often in pretty much the same place. These sights are often left unatended for days on end... maybe an alarming addition to said roadworks would be the ideal way to speed them along.  This involved adding extra, and preferably confusing or misleading signage. I had a visitor for the day, and happily for me she agreed to take part.

 

I wondered what kind of signage to use, should i falsely indicate something was unsafe and should be avoided, leave inceorect instruction for the absent workmen or something entirely different?

In the end the signage we rocked with can be seen at the top of this blog, As you can see its a rather confusing take on a crime scene sign the police often use.

Once we created the signage, we set off on a crusade to hit up every unmaned roadworks in the local area. (Notice the photos clustered throughout this blog).

Misleading signage  placed on unmanned roadworks.

mission completed.

day 120 ... agreeing to meet in ten

Today's task was simple enough , when youve been away from something a while, best to start out light im sure youll agree. My assignment was thus ,agree with someone to meet up in 10 years at a place and time of your choosing, but exactly 10 years from today. Easily done, i sent a text out to someone i thought i'd wanna meet in a decade, and luckily for me, an agreement was immidiately met.

A lot can happen /change in a decade, and to hilight that, here's what was going on in 2001:-

*sven goran erikson was installed as england manager

*Liverpool beat arsenal in the f.a cup final (2 goals from a young michael owen).

*Osama bin laden masterminds the 9/11 attacks on the twin towers.

*foot and mouth caused karnage in the english countryside

  and bob the builder, atomic kitten and lou bega spent time at number one.

now my people it's time to let you in on the details:-

Myself and A.S.B have agreed to meet in ten years, on this date (the 8th of october) 2021 we will meet at arguments place in whitby, and just incase weve changed imeasurably, to make ourselves recognisable to eachother abi shall wear red shoes, and a purple flower in her hair. I was deciding wether to adorn myself in winkle pickers and a flasher mack ... or a tiger onesy, in the end of course i decided the latter may be funny for me , and who im meeting, but alarming for  fellow inhabitants of whitby.

It was sugested we might want to list on contract  some of the talking points of the moment should we fall short of topics a decade on. They are duely listed, and include amy winehouses demise, the massacre in norway, polar bear attcks, riots in totenham etc.

So the date is set, and  the contract is signed. and le task is finito!

day...119 reincarnation

Day 119... today choose what youd prefer to be reincarnated as!

And so today i was fitted with the exciting  yet daunting task of choosing from a large list full of images of beasts, objects and other such things  what i would most like to be reincarnated as.

The list included almost everything  including camels, parrots,guitars, rocking horses,giraffes, astronaughts,4x4's, crickets pears and squirrels  and about 300 more, i didnt have to pick something from the list, just something...anything but i was aware i shouldnt go into this without a sensible head on, although i dont believe in reincrnation if im wrong  its quite an important decision.

And so i made my choice.. which i will keep secret for the meantime was circled on the provided page, folded and pushed into an envelope  along with a note of introduction and my wishes for reincarnation and sen first class to the dalai lama. I guess if reincarnation is really how it works  he might hold some sway.. i donbt it  but its worth a punt right?

Day118... minus taste

day118... minus taste!

my task was simple enough" today go through life without using your sense of taste" The way i would cause this lack of sense of taste  was entirely my choice, i went the numbing whole mouth with sore throat numbing spray route.. it was a success.

I tasted almost nothing today... it was not pleasent, i like food, well good food at least  and sadly this was goulash day, a favourite of mine from my days in hungary, and i had been looking forward to it  for a couple of days ... i however managed to down an entire plate  without tasting  the slighest part of it, such a waste .

Although a seemingly harmless afliction  todays task made me feel for those who suffer it for real (and they do exist) How joyless eating some of my favourite food was fir just one day.. imagine a life in which youve never tasted anything.. and so no favourite food or drink, no pleasure in mastercation.. just eating through necesity, although i know there are worse things to have, that sounds like torture. However it probably has its advantages, there cant be an obesity problem among those with no sense of taste.

day 117... sabotaging focus groups

Day 117... Sabotaging focus groups

Focus groups are the engine room of the market economy, a place where products and services are presented to the buying public.. ad their opinions sought. And they in many ways are the only way in which the average joe on the street can effect the decisions big business takes.

Today my task was to mislead focus groups, give bad or purposely misleading advice.. while sounding  like a man who knows in stuff, in the hopes that big business would listen  and in some small way  i would have contributed to the future direction of some products.

As you may know i dont look at each task until the day it is to be completed.. and so although i tried there were no in person focus groups to take part in today...there were however online groups positively desperate for my optinons on all sorts of products and services.

I lent these online groups the weight of my considerable taste and knowledge, i made many comments.. hopefully some were heeded. here's  a sample:-

" line dancing  is  set for a big come back, ive seen the stirings all over"

"i think increasing the softness is always a good idea, but have you thought of a colour change across your range?, nobody wants white toilet paper these days its just not cool"

" risk takers like me  would love a car with no airbag, theres definately room in the world for a car for those who like to live on the edge"

day 116... 8 million ways to die!

Day 116.. 8 million ways to die!

Today benrik wanted  me to consider my own mortality, this isnt something i relished the prospect of... however after fully reading through the task i realised it wasnt going to be so bad. Iwas given a list of 100 ways to die , and asked to rank them 1-100 in order of preference.

I know everyone dies  and in the grand scheme of things  the method of transport shouldnt really matter a great deal.. but this is your own death nand so as hard as it is to think about  we all have a preference, even if its born only of knowing which ways we definately wouldnt wanna go.

Some of the 100 are gruesome others more mundane..but taken in context of yourself none seemed massively apealing.. im not typing out all hundred methods, but i shall leave a sample of my mreference list below.

98- ebola virus
93- anthrax in mail
67- swallowed wasp
53- eaten by dinosoars
46- bludgeoned with baseball bat
34- heroin overdose
27- lynched
22- suicide bombed
17- mafia
10- friendly fire
7-  cocaine overdose
1-  duel

day 115... lotus position

                                                                   this isnt me!
                                             DAY 115... sit in the lotus position all day

When i took on this book and decided to do a task a day it was with the intent of if possible following all tasks  to the letter  and atempting  to succeed and complete them, However although i gave todays a good shot, it was simply beyond me... as you can see i was to sit in the lotus position all day, my reasons  for failure in this task are as follows:-

1.I didnt have the day free so anymore than a couple if hours was simply not possible.

2.I after a 40 min atempt  could bare no more lotus positin  a mixture of aching and boredom restricted me from doing it any longer. The idea was to sit in the position and relax, ill have to say i dont find sitting in such an awkward position even slightly relaxing. however i did give it a blast.. 40 mins of not being able to move was torture. but i gave it a good go.. allbeit around 23 and  a bit hours shorter than what the task required. abaetween you and me  i think it was an unreasonable request.

day 114... today act suspicious

day 114...   TODAY ACT SUSPICIOUS

Today i was bade to spend the day engaged in suspicious or faux suspicious activity... i dont struggle with this, im reliably informed that i manage to look like im upto no good doing the most menial of tasks.is ot a crime to be private i asks you?!!

This task was intended to alarm the general public and so i headed into town, in a long jacket and a back pack and set about looking as shifty as possible.. i couldnt be there to see all that id set up occur.. however i lik to think the shoppers in cuttys were slightly concerned when every single alarmclock on display went off at exactly 2.15. after a while of being shifty in the bus station and general loitering i headed home and searched explosives intensively, hoping to raise suspicions  but not so many that armed bobbys rocked up to my abode.

I briefly considered blacking up and cracking on a beard to look all islamic, but i realised that was maybe a bridge too far, its hard to know what to do to look suspicious in this day and age, for me at least rightly or wrongly suspicious has distictly islamic overtones... so i did the above  and tried to remember to speak in a bradford asian accent for the day innit bruv!

i believe i carried out this task in the spirit it was intended, im not prepared to worry the public of boro too much.. they have enought to worry about.

day 113... kill something day!

Westerrn civilisation supreses our totally natural, legitimate, agresive impuses! We are forced into denying our animalistic, natures. The book asks nay commands me to fight againt this, to shake off the daisy chain shackles with which i am bound,with a protest that sends a shudder to the heart f our western world.. and forces it to look again at its stance on violent daliance!

So i went out to cause harm.. harm without rhyme or reason, a motiveless, merciless act.. a display of unrepentent primal rage!

I didnt want to go to prison  so attacking a human was simply out of the question, and animalsss man.. i couldnt do that, and my friends there were no insects immidiately at hand to suffer my wrath!

And so.. this was neccesary!

primal man's furious attack on the plant world! look at it beautifull and horendous all at once! you cant take your eyes off it!

day 112.. joining extreme organisations.. and out extreming them!

Today i joined extreme organisations.. , got myself onto their websides and into their forums  and atempted a shock and awe campaign.. is it possible to out extreme extremists?
Well i went out there to see, i afiliated myself  and mingled in there with all manner of groups the b.n.p, a.l.f, e.l.f! to see how extreme i could get, and still have hem agree with me!

below you will find some of my brainwaves , i can tell you i actually got support for someof my ideas.. tho admitedly the less funny ones.  
on the b.n.p messageboard:- Flippin foreign holiday makers  coming over here on holiday, drinking our beer, sleeping with our women, end tourism now! Thomas cook and his croneys changing our country trickle by trickle! should be ashamed of themselves!

On animal liberation front message board:- I hate the lesser importance asigned to our brothers and sisters in the insect world, i love all animals! animals beat people all to hell! i say  kill the fly killers! whos with me?

on earth liberation front's message board:- We (humans) are entirely to blame for the plight of our beutifull planet! She is the himan race's battered wife! We are an incorrigible scourge on the face of the earth. The only solution is to all move to another , more resilient planet asap!

Did i out extreme them.. some of the replies i got in sympathy with my views  would lead me to believe  sadly maybe i didnt!

day 111 zombie proofing your house!

Today the book told me it was time to put things in order and zombie proof my home. Theres no sugestion that a zombie attack is iminent or that one is even possible.. but better to be safe than sorry right?

Best to know what your dealing with, and i for one have never met a zombie.. so to make sure i was fully mentally prepared i did some research.. photos (which didnt look apealing), typical undead behaviour, i discovered there are different types of zombie too, which was news to me. anyway apparently  they like to eat brainst and stuff.. im just not up for that.

The next step was to  gather tools and nails with which to baricade myself into the house, get those doors boarded up, Then i became accutely aware there was no food in the office or my room (chosen baricade zone) so i stockpiled non perishable food.. i coould be in there for a while!

Then came time  for a dry run  how quickly could i leg it upstairs,  nail myself in with scran and weapons galore? i  tried really hard to imagine it!  terifying.. anyway the point is i made it  in my imagined scenario.. thats good enuf for me! they dont want a piece of this!

If it ever kicks off with zombies.. your welcome to join me  .. we can hold them off here, adhere strictly to the food rationing tho  or ill shank you up! pointless hiding from the undead to end up just plain dead through greedyness innit!

day 110... speaking only in cliches

                                                      day110... speaking only in cliches.

Todays task was simple enough i was to push the boat right out with reguards to cliches, speak in them allll day. You may think its hard to work cliches forcably into everyday talk, but at the end of the day, anythings possible if you put your mind to it!

So from morning till eve i was charging about like a cat on a hot tin roof applyin cliches as thick as the london fog...throwing them out at people  like theyre going out of style. I was carefull not to push the boat out though, as i didnt want to leave anyone with an axe to grind!.

Sometimes its so hard to include cliche's in sentences you can feel like your banging your head against the wall, some people just dont pick up on them when theyre said, and you can be left feeling like you need to go back to the drawing board.

Some people were overcome with anger, and i dont like to push the envelope, but with needing to keep people onside, and endure to the end  with said task i was caught between a rock and a hardplace. I knew it was important not to become disheartened tho, some people apreciate a good cliche, and you can never tell who, its important not to judge a book by its cover.

In short today was tough.. but i feel i called a spade a spade,was sure not to cut off my nose to spite my face,  i cut to the chase, tried to remember i couldnt have my cake and eat it,  tried not to make a fuss, and hoped noone would rock the boat, or shoot the messenger.

done!

day 109... demonstrating!! positively!

day 109... And today i am bade to demonstrate in FAVOUR  of the government, I loved the idea of this task, however what i did not love was the thought of giving support to our horendous (at that time) labour government, a real battle ensued in my head between my determination to carry out each and everytask, and my political leanings. To my great suprise bearing in mind my stance on socialism, the former won.

And so i made up banners... signs  for the windows, and was generally contented and happy sounding with reguards to the state of the country, and the job the current government were doing. (this was so far from my true feeling i could have combusted with the level of mistruth occuring)

As history so rightly will underline governments rarely acknowledge demonstrations that are so predictablt negative towards them, government is human after all, if you are dealt with in a negative way how do you react? rarely posotively i put it to you! the same must be true of  protsets.. focusing on the positive! being encouraging! surely this is the way forward.

And so all day i told whoever would listen that the government hadnt been doing such a bad job afterall, and that really they wernt to blame for the state of the economy, imigration being out of control or anything else for that matter.I hung signs in the wondow  with messages of support  for our leaders, in the hope of spuring them onto greater things... these read :-

"THE PACE OF REFORM IS GOOD!"
" IMPLEMENT THE LAW!"
" GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR POLICIES!"

I also left messages of support for the government all over the internet. job done.. for one day i faked being pro- socialism.. if felt dirty.

Only one thing plays on my mind... why oh why didnt i save this task until the current government was in power, then i could have protested positively with not a hint of feeling ill.

day 108... lureing and swating!

Day 108... Lureing and swating!

Today i was set a fairly grim, and so i thought a fairly simple task.. I was to lure a fly onto todays page by whatever means possible and swat it  withing the area of the page indicated, NASTY,  i thought, that seems like itl be a bit messy, and just a little harsh, Now. im not a massive fan of flies.. seldom does something vex me more than trying to eat, but being unable to relax and enjoy due to a fly that seems intent on buzzing around me, and atempting plate based landings. The more i thought on this i realised what a pain fly's really are and it became less of a chore, and more of a cruisade for venence against one fly  for the crimes of all of its forefathers! This isnt the way i generally deal with things... i wouldnt kick a puppy because its father bit me once.. but well the book requires a flys  death, and as i needed to justify it..

The lureing and swating took longer than one would have hoped, oh there was a fly, but the last.. the onlyplace in the room it didnt want to land  was the book... and that page, it seemed unnervingly aware of the fate that awaited it  should it touch down on the red zone, should i be feeling remorse for an act i hadnt yet commited? NO... eventually  it gave into curiosity.. and victory was mine. It was only a small one, so not much mess after all.. and i do now feel that i have in some small way aside from completing the task , let flies world wide know  what will befall them if they mess with me  while i eat.

day 107... everybody SCREEEEAM!!

So.. its been a shamefully long time since i actually typed up any of my tasks.. rest assured tho people, ive been doing them and keeping notes... and now the type up break is at an end, and ive left myself  with a veritable mountain to climb  i shall begin!

                                                

Day 107... Timed screaming
Today the task was simple, scream like youve never screamed before at precisely 8.07 p.m (greenwich mean time).  Making sure one was well away from contact with the public  was strictly forbidden, I was to make no changes to my plans, the book layed out in stone, that wether i was on a date, having dinner with friends, at a night class or deep in meditation i was to scream where i was! ,maybe they hoped that if enough people let out a wrasp at the same  time  with a common goal, something odd, or catastrophic would occur... maybe an earthquake, maybe a couple of waves a little larger than usual would crash onto the beach at seaton carew, maybe the space time continuam would be effected... Whatever they expected  all that happened for me was my throat tickled and i coughed solidly  for a few munites after my enforced screaming... some people claim screaming is theraputic... i definately didnt find this to be the case... neither did my cat.

So as instructed i screamed at 8.07 precisely, i bet a few other people  out there did it too, so for that moment alone  without knowing eachother, we were connected by a common aim..they may have been on a date, eating dinner, meditating.. personally i was sat in my living room watching a dvd, eating a cider refresher ice lolly, and awaking said cat.

mission accomplished!

day 106... praising unsung achievement

day 106... praising unsung achievement

Well you can see what todays task was above, i just had to consider where to look for such an achievment, i mean everyday.. ok maybe not everyday but i bet fairly often people go above whats required of them at work when serving you, you might notice it and thing "oh that made a pleasent change", but i bet you never gave a second thought to it, i know i never have, what if the acknowlegement of the extra effort given by said employee either to them personally or their superiors, and whatever resulted from your words  was a badly needed lift.

Rarely in england does anyone working a minimum wage job at say a supermarket give you anything other than a tut or a grunt or a forced semi smile as an atempt to hide contempt for your disturbance when when they are aproached with a query (for the benefit of foreign readers, as i know smiley and helpfull is a default setting for checkout girls in canada)

Having set the scene for you, i headed for tesco, badly in need of shopping, knowing that if anyplace was unlikely to provide good service of noteable standardsa supermarket would  surely be it. If i asked enough staff to help me find something, would any suprise me and show a want to help, a degree of freindliness? if they did  they would be rewarded with a letter to the boss.

I'll cut a long story short, i spoke to 3 assistants, for directions to certain items i was "having trouble finding" to which i recieved vague hand gestures and grunts before i asked a girl if she knew where i could find silverado stag chilli...  " i do yeah" she said  sounding happy id asked, then lead me the whole way across the supermarket,, chatting to me as she went...she even tried to pull the chilli down off the top shelf but wastoo short.. which she seemed embarased by.. but made me want to write to the boss all the more.. cuteness wins points like.. definately. I left with a name (from the badge) and a knowledge that some supermarket workers hadnt yet been sucked of all life.

heres the very brief letter:-
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear manager,
I always shop at your store, and am generally content with the service I receive, and the general shopping experience.
Today I came to do my weekly shop as ususal, and was having trouble finding a few items, and although all of the staff I spoke to during my shopping trip provided adequate instruction as to how what I was seeking could be acquired, One member of staff (Sara who works on the drinks section) was very helpful indeed, her desire to be of assistance, and friendly demeanor were a breath of fresh air.
I felt this deserved acknowledgement. I hope and expect she is a valued member of staff at your store.
Yours sincerely

Mike Shotton

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So today i praised unsung achievement, ok it wasnt a massive achievement, but to be fair if you often shop in english supermarkets, youll know just how rare a thing someone seeming like they are genuinely happy to help is. I hope you enjoyed the words "shopping experience" in the letter i tried to put myself in the mindset of the kind of person who usually writes that kind of letter.... middle class biff i thought. hope the letter fits.

day 105... life minus smell

day 105... and todays task was thus, "today go through life without using your sense of smell" I was wondering how i would pull this off as i saw it aproaching in the book, the flippin sinus probs ive had for months,  i asumed would have cleared up well before now, but as it turns out, i am still unable to smell much at all, oh thankyou for your persistance sinusitous, however would i manage this task without you... but youd best bog off as soon as its done!

So ill functioning nose on face, i marched out to meet the world  with its many punjent odours, and do my best to acknowledge what i should be smelling  while actually  smelling  none of them. I wasnt sure wether this lack of smell would be a burden or a blessing living where i do, i mean cooling towers, chemical industry, lots of tracksuited biffs, would i really be missing out on anything pleasent? heres what i didnt smell today:-

I walked past a garage forecourt, and didnt smell the petrol ( a smell i usually love)
I didnt smell the overwhelming, yet beautifull aroma of garlic that cascades out of linthorpe roads kebab shops.
I didnt smell the sausage stand as i walked past it
I couldnt smell bthick black   fumes that a knackered old ford was spillingout on boro road as i walked past (and i could tell by others faces, the fumes smelt  and it wasnt a heavenly fragrance)
I walked past K.O and that aroma , that tells of pleasure and bowel concerns in one heady snort was strangely not present.
A heavennly looking girl strolled past  and i bet she smelled as good as she looked, but i couldnt tell you, she may aswell have lifted like the toilets in middlesbrough bus station .
On the upside people i  didnt smell:-
The fish section in morrisons  (which i usually have to sprint past)
The smell of the tees as we drove over it wndows down
A beggar/ tramp who may not have smelled, but certainly looked like he should


SO i went without the sense of smell all day (for flippin weeks actually) and i can tell you i equally missed ut and was blessed, i definately wouldnt want to be without it as a permanent set up. It has made me consider smells im gratefull to experience tho, and consider taking a peg with me to morrisons when my sense of smell returns.

day 104... letting power corrupt me!

day 104... So today the book wanted me to let power corrupt me!
Well power coruption day turned out to be our second day in barcelona, and the previous night as i headed, exausted, and slightly smitten with sunstroke to bed in the hotel, my roommate noticed that my bed WAS COVERED IN ANTS!!. Im an easy going kinda guy, so for the night i just slept elsewhere thinking i'll deal with this in the morning, when its my duty to make a big deal of it... and that i did.

Having allready briefed the night security dude of the problem during the early hours, i haeaded down to reception to see what could be done about my ant concerns... the brummy receptionist had allready been insulted by a member of our party upon check in  and so... was a little spiky to begin with... i decided to go easy-ish.. i explained my concern and asked if we could have a room change (despite the fact the cleaner had dealt with the ant problem allready, and the fact we were only paying 3 pound  a night ), she didnt take it well and to be honest, was rude before id given her reason to be, she wasnt budging on the room change.. so i underlined that the roo, needed cleaning top to bottom.

Around 15 mins later, as we were heading out  for a jaunt to the beach, and could see she was busy speaking spanish on the phone... i enquired if the cleaner was still in..as she hadnt been up yet, and my sheets needed changing asap!. She didnt like it.. "WHICH BED IS IT" she enquired angrily, i gave her a look to suggest she needed to lowe her tone  while adresing such an important customer, and out we went. We went in search of beer on the cheap from one of the asian stalls (not fo me) these asian openfronted stalls sell everything, beers, shades, flip flops, soveneirs... ropey knock off footie shirts, pornographic playing cards.. and in this case.. megaphones (actually i think the megaphone was there for him to invite people into his stall from the surrounding area) Anyway we were in there ruffly 20 minutes, and i spent the whole time trying things on unnecesarily from packets  and chucking em back... and shoulting things rather too loudly through the megaphonethat wasnt intended for my useage,, i did impresions of him! " many bargains my friends" etc! he loved it.. im sure.

I also thorougly enjoyed making our waiter take photos of us all at the table, in periods where i could see he really couldnt spare the time, aaand speaking in bad chinese accents in the chinese restraunt... we found it hiwaaaarwious .. not sure they did tho..larrrvly.

So today i let power   or percieved corrupt me, and pushed the people of lloret a little too far. Normally im not into that kind of thing, but iv'e given myself a full pardon after all the receptionist was rude before id given her reason to be, and the stall holder well..... i just dont feel bad about it... you can decide why.

day 103... today impress your librarian

                                                        day 103,... impresing my librarian.





The book spelt out exactly how this was to be done... here's how it went down.
At apromximately 12/ mid day i entered middlesbrough library, gave a nod to the staff, and walked the building  like a man on a mission, perusing the shelves for the beefiest, and most impresive looking book by way of size, and intelectual content. I reached a section containing dusty volumes of gargantuan proportions, it was the classics... nothing says im an intelectual heavyweight like the classics, i went for satre, though not in the french.. if i want her to think i blasted through that forest of paper in 27 mins, i have to draw the line somewhere, hardback in hand i Aproached the desk, she booked it out to me, i then sat slightly out of view of said elderly bespectacled wise owl, and turned pages reading bits and pieces for 27mins.. but mainly boshing texts, when the alloted tim  benrik stipulated had passed, i returned to the check out desk... and slammed the huge bulky volume down looking satisfied, and with any luck  slightly enlightened.

She looked at me, with a mix of bewilderment and excitement as i uttered the words "yeah great read that", and mooched out of the library ten feet tall, having gained a new reputation no doubt, savant or idiot savant i dont know, but certainly one of the 2.

I believe wholeheartedly that my librarian was impressed by my achievements in speed reading, i like to think that to a librarian, that was akin to watching husein bolt run the 100 in 7 seconds, a day she will never forget.
Maybe within the realms of that aged building  the day the day i strolled in and cained satre in 27 mins will go down in folklore in libraries throughout the land, " the day the legend of the chosen one was fulfilled" yeah... i can see that  defo!

tada!!

day 102... volunteering for a medical experiment.

          NO... just human's thats ok then eh you yoghurt knitting, home schooled, cardigan wearing biffs!

day 102... volunteering for a medical experiment. That's the task..I imagine most people at this stage would be thinking, "nah thats a step too far, i dont care what the book says, no way am i being experimented on!!"
However i am allredy signed upto a research centre, having considered going for a visit several times before, ,i considered it purely for  financial gain, however i am to view this sign up as an act of service, laying my body on the line for the betterment of strangers health, (although i will still recieve said money)

So the testing unit im signed upto sends me emails  every week aproximately, giving details of upcoming studies, the drug, what it's used for, possible side effects, and the cash one would recieve for participating in particular studies.

And today as instructed, i signed up for one, there is a selection process, signing up doesnt guarentee you will be accepted onto that study, as they all have specific requirements with participants  health history, smoker/non smoker, blood type etc..

However below are the details of the ordeal i signed up for :-

The main aim is to see what effect the body has on the study drug, ACT-280778 and to evaluate the safety and tolerability of the study drug in healthy male volunteers. ACT-280778 is a new investigational medicinal product being developed for the treatment of Cardiovascular Disease.
Heart and circulatory disease is the most common cause of death in the UK and includes coronary heart disease, angina, heart attack, and stroke. In treatment of cardiovascular disease, particularly hypertension and angina, a group of drugs called 'calcium channel blockers' is one method of treatment currently being used. These drugs affect the way calcium is used in the blood vessels and heart muscle. This has a relaxing effect on the blood vessels. ACT-280778 works in a similar way by blocking calcium channels.
What will happen?

This study is being conducted at our research facility at Mayday Hospital in London. If you are interested in taking part you will need to contact us to register your interest.

If you successfully pass the telephone screening you will be invited to our facility where you will undergo a screening examination. This is vital to ensure it is safe for you to take part in the trial.

So iv'e signed up, soon i may be bloging from altogether more worying surroundings... of course as the book instructed i am viewing this as an act of charity, not thinking about the £3,500 that comes with it... not at all.

sign up for dope up
done!