day 104... letting power corrupt me!

day 104... So today the book wanted me to let power corrupt me!
Well power coruption day turned out to be our second day in barcelona, and the previous night as i headed, exausted, and slightly smitten with sunstroke to bed in the hotel, my roommate noticed that my bed WAS COVERED IN ANTS!!. Im an easy going kinda guy, so for the night i just slept elsewhere thinking i'll deal with this in the morning, when its my duty to make a big deal of it... and that i did.

Having allready briefed the night security dude of the problem during the early hours, i haeaded down to reception to see what could be done about my ant concerns... the brummy receptionist had allready been insulted by a member of our party upon check in  and so... was a little spiky to begin with... i decided to go easy-ish.. i explained my concern and asked if we could have a room change (despite the fact the cleaner had dealt with the ant problem allready, and the fact we were only paying 3 pound  a night ), she didnt take it well and to be honest, was rude before id given her reason to be, she wasnt budging on the room change.. so i underlined that the roo, needed cleaning top to bottom.

Around 15 mins later, as we were heading out  for a jaunt to the beach, and could see she was busy speaking spanish on the phone... i enquired if the cleaner was still in..as she hadnt been up yet, and my sheets needed changing asap!. She didnt like it.. "WHICH BED IS IT" she enquired angrily, i gave her a look to suggest she needed to lowe her tone  while adresing such an important customer, and out we went. We went in search of beer on the cheap from one of the asian stalls (not fo me) these asian openfronted stalls sell everything, beers, shades, flip flops, soveneirs... ropey knock off footie shirts, pornographic playing cards.. and in this case.. megaphones (actually i think the megaphone was there for him to invite people into his stall from the surrounding area) Anyway we were in there ruffly 20 minutes, and i spent the whole time trying things on unnecesarily from packets  and chucking em back... and shoulting things rather too loudly through the megaphonethat wasnt intended for my useage,, i did impresions of him! " many bargains my friends" etc! he loved it.. im sure.

I also thorougly enjoyed making our waiter take photos of us all at the table, in periods where i could see he really couldnt spare the time, aaand speaking in bad chinese accents in the chinese restraunt... we found it hiwaaaarwious .. not sure they did tho..larrrvly.

So today i let power   or percieved corrupt me, and pushed the people of lloret a little too far. Normally im not into that kind of thing, but iv'e given myself a full pardon after all the receptionist was rude before id given her reason to be, and the stall holder well..... i just dont feel bad about it... you can decide why.

day 103... today impress your librarian

                                                        day 103,... impresing my librarian.





The book spelt out exactly how this was to be done... here's how it went down.
At apromximately 12/ mid day i entered middlesbrough library, gave a nod to the staff, and walked the building  like a man on a mission, perusing the shelves for the beefiest, and most impresive looking book by way of size, and intelectual content. I reached a section containing dusty volumes of gargantuan proportions, it was the classics... nothing says im an intelectual heavyweight like the classics, i went for satre, though not in the french.. if i want her to think i blasted through that forest of paper in 27 mins, i have to draw the line somewhere, hardback in hand i Aproached the desk, she booked it out to me, i then sat slightly out of view of said elderly bespectacled wise owl, and turned pages reading bits and pieces for 27mins.. but mainly boshing texts, when the alloted tim  benrik stipulated had passed, i returned to the check out desk... and slammed the huge bulky volume down looking satisfied, and with any luck  slightly enlightened.

She looked at me, with a mix of bewilderment and excitement as i uttered the words "yeah great read that", and mooched out of the library ten feet tall, having gained a new reputation no doubt, savant or idiot savant i dont know, but certainly one of the 2.

I believe wholeheartedly that my librarian was impressed by my achievements in speed reading, i like to think that to a librarian, that was akin to watching husein bolt run the 100 in 7 seconds, a day she will never forget.
Maybe within the realms of that aged building  the day the day i strolled in and cained satre in 27 mins will go down in folklore in libraries throughout the land, " the day the legend of the chosen one was fulfilled" yeah... i can see that  defo!

tada!!

day 102... volunteering for a medical experiment.

          NO... just human's thats ok then eh you yoghurt knitting, home schooled, cardigan wearing biffs!

day 102... volunteering for a medical experiment. That's the task..I imagine most people at this stage would be thinking, "nah thats a step too far, i dont care what the book says, no way am i being experimented on!!"
However i am allredy signed upto a research centre, having considered going for a visit several times before, ,i considered it purely for  financial gain, however i am to view this sign up as an act of service, laying my body on the line for the betterment of strangers health, (although i will still recieve said money)

So the testing unit im signed upto sends me emails  every week aproximately, giving details of upcoming studies, the drug, what it's used for, possible side effects, and the cash one would recieve for participating in particular studies.

And today as instructed, i signed up for one, there is a selection process, signing up doesnt guarentee you will be accepted onto that study, as they all have specific requirements with participants  health history, smoker/non smoker, blood type etc..

However below are the details of the ordeal i signed up for :-

The main aim is to see what effect the body has on the study drug, ACT-280778 and to evaluate the safety and tolerability of the study drug in healthy male volunteers. ACT-280778 is a new investigational medicinal product being developed for the treatment of Cardiovascular Disease.
Heart and circulatory disease is the most common cause of death in the UK and includes coronary heart disease, angina, heart attack, and stroke. In treatment of cardiovascular disease, particularly hypertension and angina, a group of drugs called 'calcium channel blockers' is one method of treatment currently being used. These drugs affect the way calcium is used in the blood vessels and heart muscle. This has a relaxing effect on the blood vessels. ACT-280778 works in a similar way by blocking calcium channels.
What will happen?

This study is being conducted at our research facility at Mayday Hospital in London. If you are interested in taking part you will need to contact us to register your interest.

If you successfully pass the telephone screening you will be invited to our facility where you will undergo a screening examination. This is vital to ensure it is safe for you to take part in the trial.

So iv'e signed up, soon i may be bloging from altogether more worying surroundings... of course as the book instructed i am viewing this as an act of charity, not thinking about the £3,500 that comes with it... not at all.

sign up for dope up
done!

day 101... lying about your past!

                                                
                                                        day 101...lying about your past!

So today i had to lie to people about my past, As pointed out previously im not massively comfortable with lying, the only fibs im down with are lies that are so wildly exajurated that both liar and the lied to instantly  know what's being told is not the case, And white lies, that are swiftly followed by a retractment, one the lied to has been sucked in.

the book informs me Lies about ones past can be seperated into 4 categories, white lies, blatant lies, lies nobody wants to check, and lies nobody can check... with this in mind i set out to cover all 4 bases.

So today i told lies about my past, ranging from heritage, the religious leanings of my fammily and my REAL  name, i had to pick on people who havnt grown up with me so that i could be believed even for the meerest of moments, to those i atempted to suck in, my sincere apologies, even though your aware of the untruth allready.
Some of the fibs i told today can be found below:-

" yeah, i use michael now, but my name is abraham, my family are all jewish, i took on mike when i converted to mormonism to avoid awkward questions"

" my parents are well into family history like, theyve gone back really far on both sides, apparently im a distant relative of billy the kid"

" i didnt speak until i was about 2, and then my first word was demonstrative"

As you can see from this mere sampleit's likely no retraction was really needed on any of the lies a threw out there today, but i'll tell you what Iv'e never been happier that pinochio is just a fairytale.

lies dispensed
task ticked.

day 100... adding a special touch to a masterpiece!

day 100... adding a special touch to a masterpiece!
Pretty self explanitary, simply the book suggests  that art is never truly finished, and that i should take a piece of recognizable artwork, and set about it with my wildly artistic hands. I picked the mona lisa, Below you can see the origional artwork, and then my revamped masterpiece.

                                                                          BEFORE

AFTER

Who would have thought that a  change in hair colour, a little nailwork, a beard and a fag could have such an impact on an instantly recognisable work of art, Granted i have altered the vibe of the whole painting, taking her from a natural beauty, to the kind of bird who hangs out in heavy metal bars, however that beard definately thins her face out, if she could speak, she would be thanking me.

Alteration, improvement, finito!

day 99... taking the psychopath test!

That bird out of psycho JUST pre-stabbage

day 99... taking the psychopath test!.. today i am to take a test set out by benrik, that lays within the book.
The way it breaks down is thus, I am asked if i posess certain personality/ characture traits (20 in all), and i have to be honest, and think deeply about wether i am in posesion of them or not. atahe deal is the traits are all those that pyschopaths generally have, and there is a scale on which you fit, that tells you to what degree you are a psycho (depending on how many traits you answer afirmatively to) Noone is that cut and dry tho, and most people have some of these traits in certain situations, and so the points scale is in 3 sections.

i'm never like this - 0 points
i am sometimes like this - 1 point
i am always like this - 4 points

I am instructed to hand myself into the police immidiately shouldi score more than 40 points. (clearly this would mean i have severe psychopathic tendencies)

Here are some of the traits i was quized about :-

>poor behavioral control
>tendency to boredom/ need for stimulation
>cunning/manipulative behaviour
>lack of empathy
>lack of remorse
>impulsiveness
>criminal versatility
>failure to accept consequences of actions

I wont tell you which of these (and the other 12) i answered afirmatively too, or indeed to how many points i needed to take on for each.. however, i can tell you i breathed a deep sigh of relief on count up, when i realised my total was well below 40, Granted that was my own asessment , should anyone want to conduct answer the full list of questions as they relate to me (you will have to know me fairly well), let me know and we can do that. The book sugests the results of a non self test may be wildly different.

worrying... but im game.

So today i took a test discovered to my joy that i am not a pychopath.

test taken
and past/failed (whichever means im not mental)

day 98... denouncing someone to the government

                                                                 The Home Secretary


day 98... and today my task was simply to "denounce someone to the government" Easy enough.. so i drew up a brief letter to the home secretary, It was inportant not to give too much detail, as i do need to denounce someone, but dont actually want government heavies to storm the denouncee's home, performing body cavity searches etc . The big decision i had to make was  who to denounce, who posed a serious threat to national security within my circle of aquantences? Well probably noone to be honest, however i definatley do know someone who is a threat to public  decency. Jigs revels in making sexual inuendo of every comment made in conversation.and generally being flambouyant and outrageous For these reasons I decided he should be denounced.

.........................................................................................................

Dear Home Secretary


I write to you on a matter of grave importance, David bourne (jigs) constitutes a severe threat to national security, ok probably not national security, but almost certainly public decency. For reasons I can’t go into right now as I am in a hurry you need to search his home urgently, before its too late.. Seriously! (body cavity search optional)



Yours anonymously

..............................................................................................................................................................
S o any day now jiggs may or may not be recieving a visit, and some invasive procedures, only time will tell, either way i did what was required.
 
PERSON DENOUNCED TO GOVERNMENT
MISSION SUCCESFULL