day 33... re-aranging the supermarket

Day 33... and my task today was to "rearange the supermarket to my prefferences" i think youll find upon reading todays blog that i have radical reforms planned for supermarkets, that dont just involve my convenience.. always thinking of others thats me!! haha.

So my preferences are thus....see the fish counter? (below) it would always stay just as empty as it is in this photo i snapped at the end of the day.  I dont have to either gag at the smell as i pass the fish counter, or hold my breath and get a jog on till im well past it in every frikkin supermarket. The only good fish counter is an empty fish counter!!.

OOOOOh a perverts aisle, whats that i here you ask, well if mike was the boss of a supermarket chain this would be the aisle where all food related pervs would buy there fettish items such as fresh or tinned fish  , dates, prunes and generally anything with dried fruit in it... a safer supermarket for the normal folk..  sounds like a plan right?

This is how the perv aisle might look, you can see raw fish, fresh herrings soreen (malt loaf) and tea cakes with currants and raisins in there, its kind of like a sex shop, i cant stop them buying sickening stuff but i shouldnt have to watch them do it... give them theyre own area for specialised pervy purchases.

No supermarket is complete without an aisle for mike , this is the kind of things it would contain.. coke, old jamaica ginger beer, marmite, and possibly socks bareing my name? along with  meat products, jars of chillis, tins of cuzza etc... beautifull.. im sure you agree the shelf i assembled looks radient.

The cruelty on display in the fruit section was sickening, baby pineapples had been seperated form the other pineapples.. im all about keeping families together where possible, so i reunited them as you should be able to see above. Under my control the segregation of  fruit families would simply not take place.

Weve dealt with the perves  but there is another type of offender in the supermarket, one  that i dont feel i want to do my shopping with, In fact they should have their own mini section entirely walled of from the rest of us...but for now the doyle section will have to surfice.above you will see the items they purchase, or an example thereof... basically food snobs. People who like the idea of themselves eating certain foods..  eating sushi, ordering skinny latte's, purchasing things like sun dried tomatoes and black pepper and olive oil frikkin croutons. I cant stand the beggars  you can see them from a mile off, answering calls on theyre blackberries and carrying the guardian under an arm, they have the new cookbook by  some middle class tv chef  or  other  and off they go to recreate his recipies. Basically what im saying is  middle class food snobs wold be banned from shopping with the rest of us under mikes new resolution.They would have  the doyle aisle.

Why oh why dont supermarkets allready do this? the painkillers clearly need to be with the alcohol.. theyre missing a trick, i would also endorse toilet paper next to curries, and plasters next to knifes. And possibly large bars of chocolate next to weighing scales.

O.K so i rearanged the supermarket to meet my preferences.. youll be happy to know i left it all as you see it in the above photos on the offchance a like minded individual stops and sees it... if he/she did, they now know all is not lost there are  kindred spirits out there.

DONE