day 16... skeletons leaving a closet

Day 16.....  Today  is a task i am somewhat worried about and have been looking at with some amount of nervousness since i brought the book home,  I am required to "let the skeletons out of my closet", this in effect is an amnesty of secrets, things we would rather people didnt know, the book wanted me to write them within its covers and share them with my nearest and dearest.

However with some lack of foresight i started this blog and pledged to complete all 365 tasks included in this book,and blog my experience here.. So in addition to my closest, anyone who cares enough to read gets to be apauled by my actions too, (tho i wont include my worst here, for fear of arrest or linching) this does not fill me with joy.

The categories the book insists i include in the afore mentioned closet clearence are.. relationship skeletons, professional skeletons,criminal skeletons,childhood skeletons and miscellaneous skeletons. Mike will focus on the humerous rather than the outright bad.

SO... im doing one of each of the above on here..

Relationship:-
 I once finished a mid-ish term relationship with  a  really nice, very bonnie girl simply because i could no longer deal with her inability to finish her sentences.  (though of course this wasnt the reason i gave her)

Professional:-
Well im not sure my c.v being at about a quater ficticious counts as a skeleton, so. I used to live in hungary, where i spent some of my time teaching english to hungarian students.. i will have to admit to wilfully missleading them, and  routinely getting them to include inapropriate words in otherwise perfectly acceptable sentences.
( i like to think they didnt discover my cunning  until after they tried out theyre skills on unsuspecting english speakers)

Criminal:-
I once lett off a smoke bomb in  a packed indian restraunt, resulting in smoke and sprinklers galore and  the establishment (at least 20 dinners) and staff needing to be evacuated. A comedy chase sequence ensued involving myself and several angry waiters as i sprinted for the getaway car . For some reason i did this in a fur jacket and elvis shades, presumably i thought it a good disguise.

Childhood:-
When i was about 9 i threw a log at a moving car, smashing its passenger side window, and causing other damage... this car turned out to be a policeman's, he got out , put his hat on and led me directly to my front door to explain to mum exactly what had just gone down... nightmare! (In my defence my older brother and his friend did encourage me)

Miscellaneous:-
Again.. im gunna reflect on childhood..as  your not really bad as a kid  just naughty... around the same time as the log/car incident.. me and my brother once lit the fallen willow thingies from a pussy willow tree which had fallen all the way down the back alley, We had no grasp of how flamiable these things were.. and before we knew it the whole back alley was ablaze... with peoples garden fences taking a sound scorching... we headed back to our house with haste and proclaimed to our parents (who were somehow unaware of the incident, or at least our part in it) "we are tired.. were going to bed" They were understandibly suspicious as it was about 4pm. (they still dont know...  unless they read this)

Some skeletons outed!!