day 114... today act suspicious

day 114...   TODAY ACT SUSPICIOUS

Today i was bade to spend the day engaged in suspicious or faux suspicious activity... i dont struggle with this, im reliably informed that i manage to look like im upto no good doing the most menial of tasks.is ot a crime to be private i asks you?!!

This task was intended to alarm the general public and so i headed into town, in a long jacket and a back pack and set about looking as shifty as possible.. i couldnt be there to see all that id set up occur.. however i lik to think the shoppers in cuttys were slightly concerned when every single alarmclock on display went off at exactly 2.15. after a while of being shifty in the bus station and general loitering i headed home and searched explosives intensively, hoping to raise suspicions  but not so many that armed bobbys rocked up to my abode.

I briefly considered blacking up and cracking on a beard to look all islamic, but i realised that was maybe a bridge too far, its hard to know what to do to look suspicious in this day and age, for me at least rightly or wrongly suspicious has distictly islamic overtones... so i did the above  and tried to remember to speak in a bradford asian accent for the day innit bruv!

i believe i carried out this task in the spirit it was intended, im not prepared to worry the public of boro too much.. they have enought to worry about.

day 113... kill something day!

Westerrn civilisation supreses our totally natural, legitimate, agresive impuses! We are forced into denying our animalistic, natures. The book asks nay commands me to fight againt this, to shake off the daisy chain shackles with which i am bound,with a protest that sends a shudder to the heart f our western world.. and forces it to look again at its stance on violent daliance!

So i went out to cause harm.. harm without rhyme or reason, a motiveless, merciless act.. a display of unrepentent primal rage!

I didnt want to go to prison  so attacking a human was simply out of the question, and animalsss man.. i couldnt do that, and my friends there were no insects immidiately at hand to suffer my wrath!

And so.. this was neccesary!

primal man's furious attack on the plant world! look at it beautifull and horendous all at once! you cant take your eyes off it!

day 112.. joining extreme organisations.. and out extreming them!

Today i joined extreme organisations.. , got myself onto their websides and into their forums  and atempted a shock and awe campaign.. is it possible to out extreme extremists?
Well i went out there to see, i afiliated myself  and mingled in there with all manner of groups the b.n.p, a.l.f, e.l.f! to see how extreme i could get, and still have hem agree with me!

below you will find some of my brainwaves , i can tell you i actually got support for someof my ideas.. tho admitedly the less funny ones.  
on the b.n.p messageboard:- Flippin foreign holiday makers  coming over here on holiday, drinking our beer, sleeping with our women, end tourism now! Thomas cook and his croneys changing our country trickle by trickle! should be ashamed of themselves!

On animal liberation front message board:- I hate the lesser importance asigned to our brothers and sisters in the insect world, i love all animals! animals beat people all to hell! i say  kill the fly killers! whos with me?

on earth liberation front's message board:- We (humans) are entirely to blame for the plight of our beutifull planet! She is the himan race's battered wife! We are an incorrigible scourge on the face of the earth. The only solution is to all move to another , more resilient planet asap!

Did i out extreme them.. some of the replies i got in sympathy with my views  would lead me to believe  sadly maybe i didnt!

day 111 zombie proofing your house!

Today the book told me it was time to put things in order and zombie proof my home. Theres no sugestion that a zombie attack is iminent or that one is even possible.. but better to be safe than sorry right?

Best to know what your dealing with, and i for one have never met a zombie.. so to make sure i was fully mentally prepared i did some research.. photos (which didnt look apealing), typical undead behaviour, i discovered there are different types of zombie too, which was news to me. anyway apparently  they like to eat brainst and stuff.. im just not up for that.

The next step was to  gather tools and nails with which to baricade myself into the house, get those doors boarded up, Then i became accutely aware there was no food in the office or my room (chosen baricade zone) so i stockpiled non perishable food.. i coould be in there for a while!

Then came time  for a dry run  how quickly could i leg it upstairs,  nail myself in with scran and weapons galore? i  tried really hard to imagine it!  terifying.. anyway the point is i made it  in my imagined scenario.. thats good enuf for me! they dont want a piece of this!

If it ever kicks off with zombies.. your welcome to join me  .. we can hold them off here, adhere strictly to the food rationing tho  or ill shank you up! pointless hiding from the undead to end up just plain dead through greedyness innit!

day 110... speaking only in cliches

                                                      day110... speaking only in cliches.

Todays task was simple enough i was to push the boat right out with reguards to cliches, speak in them allll day. You may think its hard to work cliches forcably into everyday talk, but at the end of the day, anythings possible if you put your mind to it!

So from morning till eve i was charging about like a cat on a hot tin roof applyin cliches as thick as the london fog...throwing them out at people  like theyre going out of style. I was carefull not to push the boat out though, as i didnt want to leave anyone with an axe to grind!.

Sometimes its so hard to include cliche's in sentences you can feel like your banging your head against the wall, some people just dont pick up on them when theyre said, and you can be left feeling like you need to go back to the drawing board.

Some people were overcome with anger, and i dont like to push the envelope, but with needing to keep people onside, and endure to the end  with said task i was caught between a rock and a hardplace. I knew it was important not to become disheartened tho, some people apreciate a good cliche, and you can never tell who, its important not to judge a book by its cover.

In short today was tough.. but i feel i called a spade a spade,was sure not to cut off my nose to spite my face,  i cut to the chase, tried to remember i couldnt have my cake and eat it,  tried not to make a fuss, and hoped noone would rock the boat, or shoot the messenger.

done!

day 109... demonstrating!! positively!

day 109... And today i am bade to demonstrate in FAVOUR  of the government, I loved the idea of this task, however what i did not love was the thought of giving support to our horendous (at that time) labour government, a real battle ensued in my head between my determination to carry out each and everytask, and my political leanings. To my great suprise bearing in mind my stance on socialism, the former won.

And so i made up banners... signs  for the windows, and was generally contented and happy sounding with reguards to the state of the country, and the job the current government were doing. (this was so far from my true feeling i could have combusted with the level of mistruth occuring)

As history so rightly will underline governments rarely acknowledge demonstrations that are so predictablt negative towards them, government is human after all, if you are dealt with in a negative way how do you react? rarely posotively i put it to you! the same must be true of  protsets.. focusing on the positive! being encouraging! surely this is the way forward.

And so all day i told whoever would listen that the government hadnt been doing such a bad job afterall, and that really they wernt to blame for the state of the economy, imigration being out of control or anything else for that matter.I hung signs in the wondow  with messages of support  for our leaders, in the hope of spuring them onto greater things... these read :-

"THE PACE OF REFORM IS GOOD!"
" IMPLEMENT THE LAW!"
" GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR POLICIES!"

I also left messages of support for the government all over the internet. job done.. for one day i faked being pro- socialism.. if felt dirty.

Only one thing plays on my mind... why oh why didnt i save this task until the current government was in power, then i could have protested positively with not a hint of feeling ill.

day 108... lureing and swating!

Day 108... Lureing and swating!

Today i was set a fairly grim, and so i thought a fairly simple task.. I was to lure a fly onto todays page by whatever means possible and swat it  withing the area of the page indicated, NASTY,  i thought, that seems like itl be a bit messy, and just a little harsh, Now. im not a massive fan of flies.. seldom does something vex me more than trying to eat, but being unable to relax and enjoy due to a fly that seems intent on buzzing around me, and atempting plate based landings. The more i thought on this i realised what a pain fly's really are and it became less of a chore, and more of a cruisade for venence against one fly  for the crimes of all of its forefathers! This isnt the way i generally deal with things... i wouldnt kick a puppy because its father bit me once.. but well the book requires a flys  death, and as i needed to justify it..

The lureing and swating took longer than one would have hoped, oh there was a fly, but the last.. the onlyplace in the room it didnt want to land  was the book... and that page, it seemed unnervingly aware of the fate that awaited it  should it touch down on the red zone, should i be feeling remorse for an act i hadnt yet commited? NO... eventually  it gave into curiosity.. and victory was mine. It was only a small one, so not much mess after all.. and i do now feel that i have in some small way aside from completing the task , let flies world wide know  what will befall them if they mess with me  while i eat.